Weddings

My sister got married this weekend. She is 11 1/2 months older than me and the last one in my family to tie the knot. It was a very beautiful ceremony and being a Catholic wedding, it went by rather quickly. It was about 98 degrees on Saturday and we had to trudge around in heavy, floor-length dresses and layers of tux. I think the worst part was being on the party bus which had no air conditioning, at 3:00 in the afternoon, crammed in like sardines. It made us feel as though we were melting.

The reception was where things got a little crazy. First off, I have to mention how well the Best Man and I did on our robot impression during our introduction. Eat your heart out, C3PO. However, I slacked a little on my speech..I didn't prepare. I did learn though, that if you keep it short & end with, "Go Cubbies", people won't really remember what you said anyway. Follow it up with a glass of champaign & a Jaeger Bomb and you're not even humiliated anymore. Funny how that works.

Then came the obnoxious drunk people. Yes, you know there's at least one or two at every wedding reception. They are the ones hugging strangers and telling everyone they love them and dancing by themselves on the dancefloor. Unfortunately, I was related to both of them. Worse than that, one was my mother. I steered clear of her all night, afraid she would get ahold of me and make me dance with her..or grab my face and start crying like she did with my nephew and my sister. Yep, I stayed fairly sober and far away from my mom. Words from the wise, never give that woman wine, or anything containing alcohol (at least in public).

My nephew on the other hand, was quite humorous to watch. He is just shy of 21 and was stumbling all over the place. At some point he discovered how loud he could actually sing and gave the fat-lady a run for her money. Then he thought the parking lot contained a urinal & ended up falling down outside the reception hall. Luckily, no concussion.

You gotta love a good wedding. There are plenty of people, all dressed up...plenty of alcohol to keep those people 'good-looking'....and plenty of drunk, 'good-looking' people who keep us entertained.

Congratulations to my sister & her new husband..and thank you for a heavy hangover to keep my mom sober for awhile.

I Love You, Dad

Since it's Father's Day, I want to send a shout-out to my dad. He's definitely the one person in this world I look up to the most. My dad is from the Chicago-area and my family has always been huge Cubs/Bears/Illinois sports fans. I remember when I was little, I used to watch the Cubs games, from beginning to end, just so I could give my dad the play-by-play when he got home from work. I was such a nerd that I would take notes, so I didn't forget anything. Then when basketball season rolled around, I would watch the Fighting Illini games with him and we'd talk about how they needed a coach with enough balls to scare the refs. My dad is great. Over the years he's given me some great advice, support and just downright funny, one-liners. I think I'll give you a peek into life with William Max McCormick as a dad:

-do not answer the phone when you're sitting down to eat dinner, or you'll get the evil-eye
-when the phone does ring, he answers it, "Si" (why, I have no idea)
-never ask him questions about what's going on in a movie, he'll say, "I don't know! Watch the movie!"
-my dad TOTALLY resembles Clint Eastwood & he watches his movies all the time..with a crooked grin on his face, like he just gets him
-when I would practice my piano, Dad would always say, "sounds good, slim..play it again"
-I was always embarrassed to have friends over when a Bears game was on because he would get so involved that he would yell really loud (now I do the same thing)
-after my dad retired, he was bored so he got a job at Wal-Mart for a few months..he worked in the electronics department. One night someone came up to him and asked him where they could find a certain item. He admitted he wasn't sure, so he took them on a hunt to find it. The customer said to him, 'well you work in Electronics, shouldn't you know where this is?' My dad's rebuttal was, "If you see someone wandering around in a hospital, do you just assume that they're a doctor??" I still laugh every time I think about that.
-very rarely can you get him to say, 'goodbye' at the end of a phone call...he just hangs up
-he never refrigerates his beer, he drinks it warm
-one time he said to me, "your mother lives to eat, but I just eat to live" (he's so mean!)
-he laughs at his own jokes that aren't very funny, but you can't help but laugh with him because his dimples are so big and his laugh is so contagious

I have so many stories I could share, but I'm sure that they're more meaningful, funny & interesting to me since I'm his daughter, than they would be to a stranger. However, if you've ever met my dad you could conclude that he's laid-back, sarcastic, gruff & grumpy at times, but extremely loving & giving. He's got a huge heart, although he'd never admit it and he's nothing less than my hero.

I love you Dad, happy Father's Day.

Things I Hate..

I watched one of my favorite shows tonight and it inspired this post. The guy's name is Daniel Tosh and although he's extremely inappropriate, I laugh hysterically every time I watch his show, Tosh.O. Tonight he did a skit about things he hates, so I decided to do my own list...just for kicks, so here goes....

Things I hate:

Drama..especially when carried out by people you work with
Being barefooted...it's gross
Loud breathing...it's distracting and annoying, can you NOT hear yourself doing it??
Being tailgated...why? Do you think it's going to make me go faster? Wrong.
Begging...ask once and see what the answer is. Why ask twice, is the answer going to change?
Squeaky brakes...does this require an explanation, no.
Wal-Mart...period.
Lying...what's the point? I will eventually find out the truth, so in the end you look like a moron
Waking up before I'm ready...really? Wanna find out?
People who stare...enough already, take a picture.
Not flushing the toilet...it requires less time and effort than wiping your ass, just DO IT!
People who keep calling but don't leave a message...Oh yeah, I've been staring at my phone and once you call 13 times, then I'll answer. Wtf?
The alarm clock...who the hell invented this?
Car dancing...I'm annoyed just thinking about it. Is it that fun to move your butt around while sitting down? NO ONE CAN SEE YOU!
Hangovers...is this necessary? Sure it bothers me for a day, but I didn't learn anything from it
Being ignored...I know you hear me, the more you don't answer, the worse it will be for you
Meeting people you think are awesome and then finding out they're married...$hit.
Being bored...I'd rather do this while I'm sleeping
Poop...I think it's great that God thought of everything, but really?? Poop? There had to be a way around this.
Being bossed around...if I need someone to tell me what to do, then fire me or get someone else, lazy-ass

(Sigh.............) I could go on all day, but now I think I'll sleep well.